He Doesn't See Me/King of Pain
by Stella
Summary: I thought that these two stories belonged together. My first fic with Zechs and Noin - it's a songfic that takes place a few years before the series. This song is really beautiful...
1. He Doesn't See Me

I've never done a Zechs & Noin fic before, but my sweetie Kevin really thought this song was fitting, so Kev, this is for you. It takes place when Zechs and Noin were at the Victoria Academy, maybe age 16 or so, a couple of years before the series. We all know that she's hopelessly in love with him, and this is mostly from her POV before they really get to know each other.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any GW characters or the song "He Doesn't See Me."   
  
When Lucrezia walked into the lighted ballroom, the dancing had already begun. She hadn't meant to be late, but the zipper on her ball gown had gotten stuck and it had taken forever to fix it. Several of her fellow students were already whirling to a lively waltz as she made her way through the tables, shifting her shoulders uncomfortably in her dress. Noin didn't really care for parties or fancy clothes; she preferred the casual fatigues that they wore everyday for training. All the same, though, she was here and she would do her best to enjoy herself. Standing at the edge of the dance floor she took in the dozens of happy people smiling and swaying to the music. There was one person in particular that she was looking for. She had followed him around the school, just longing to be near him. She had no idea if he had ever noticed her outside of the classroom. He was a talented pilot, but so was she, and certainly he knew who she was. But we he ever see her as anything other than the person right behind him in class ranking?   
  
The thing that drew her to him was the air of mystery that surrounded him. And there was no question that he was handsome, with the long blond hair that flowed down his back. Even behind the mask he wore, there was something unmistakably regal about Zechs Marquise. Lucrezia's searching eyes found him finally. He was dancing with a tall, slender dark-haired girl in the class a year ahead of them. Zechs and his partner drew nearer and nearer to her, and Noin couldn't take her eyes off of them. They danced past her, Zechs never glancing up. Lucrezia's eyes continued to follow him silently.  
  
When he passes me by, he's a ray of light  
Like the first drop of sun from the sky.  
And I know he's a king, who deserves a queen.  
But I'm not a queen.  
And he doesn't see me.  
  
She watched him release the girl he'd been dancing with, only to be quickly approached by yet another beauty. As Noin watched Zechs lead this new girl onto the floor, she wondered if she would ever have the courage to say more than a few words to him. She always felt so clumsy and awkward around him. Zechs moved fluidly and deftly in time to the music. 'Just to be near him,' Noin thought, 'is all I would ever ask for.'  
  
When he dances, he moves me to a smile  
and I see everything near him shine.  
There's a grace in his way that I can't contain  
I haven't that grace  
Oh I haven't that grace.  
  
The second waltz ended and Zechs bowed to the girl before walking away. He made his way to a group of friends near the refreshment tables, moving nearer and nearer to where Noin stood. She heard his silky voice utter a few words to his companions as he stopped not five feet away from her, letting his friends move on ahead of him. He seemed to be regarding the golden light of the hall, the ribbons and decorations, all the musicians and suits. Noin watched him out of the corner of her eye. He was beautiful. No other word could come to mind. She held her breath, looking down at the dress she was wearing. The silk was already wrinkled from her tugging on it, and she hadn't been able to do anything with her hair. Standing next to him, she had never felt so unattractive. Yet he was so close. This was the perfect opportunity to say something to him, but she was frozen. She wanted to run from the room.  
  
And the closer he gets I can't help but hide  
So ashamed of my body and voice  
There are boundaries we pass in spite of the war  
But our own we can't seem to cross.  
  
He was still there, she noted. He'd been standing there for quite some time, and Lucrezia felt that it was now or never. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves, smoothed her wrinkled dress and began to walk towards him.  
  
There are things we can change   
If we just choose to fight.  
But the walls of injustice are high.  
  
She was just about to say "Hello," when a blur of purple rushed in front of her. She watched silently as a beautiful red headed girl asked Zechs to dance not two steps away from her. He accepted politely and escorted her to the floor as Noin looked on; again he had been so close to her, and again she had missed her chance.  
  
When he passes me by he's a ray of light  
Like the first drop of sun from the sky.  
And I know he's a king who deserves a queen.  
Someone other than me.  
So different from me.  
  
Noin felt a tear work its way down her cheek. She glanced one last time at his graceful, dancing figure, and left the room. 'Why would he want someone like me when he has his choice of the prettiest girls in the school?' she thought.  
  
He doesn't see me...  
  
When the music stopped, Zechs bowed to the red haired girl and walked back across the floor. He'd been standing near Lucrezia Noin for the longest time trying to find the nerve to ask her to dance with him. She was different from the other women he knew. He admired her competence and piloting skills, but there was something else. He respected her, he realized, and there were precious few people in this world that earned his respect. She was genuine and not vain, though she was very attractive. He knew she admired him, but unbeknownst to her, he admired her as well. Zechs scanned the room for Noin and sadly realized that she was nowhere to be found. Hoping that she would return he headed back to the party. He had seen her - he had...  
  
  
The End   
  
I know it's just a bit sad - Please Review and let me know if you liked it!  
Love, Stella.  
  
  
AN: This song is another one off of Sarah Brightman's La Luna album. It was written by Goldman & Romannelli, and translated by Read, Ingebrigsten, Marazzi & Adams. Just wanted to give credit where credit was due!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. King of Pain

Hi everyone! I was totally shocked that I had gotten so many requests for a sequel to "He Doesn't See Me" (In fact I was totally shocked that anyone read it at all, but I'm very grateful that you did, and thanks so much to all who reviewed). Anyway, it was really hard to find another song, so I picked one of my all-time favorites. There's a fair amount of angst and a bit of sap in here - don't hate me, please.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the song "King of Pain" by The Police, written by Sting  
  
  
He looked out the window, watching the sun creep up over the mountains. Zechs sat there for a long time taking in the sites on his final day at the Victoria Academy. The gates, the grounds, the flags flying high and the mobile suit hangers all loomed in the dawning light. Today would be his graduation, yet it felt no different than any other day. He still had a dark, vengeful feeling in his heart that he could not get away from. No matter how many honors were piled on him, or how many leaders and officials recognized him as "the best," this sense of loathing pervaded him.  
  
There's a little black spot on the sun today  
It's the same old thing as yesterday  
There's a black hat caught in a high tree top  
There's a flag pole rag and the wind won't stop  
  
Lucrezia Noin walked through the long hallway of the student residence building, taking a shortcut through the boys' dorm. She was too excited to sleep. Finally the day she'd worked so hard for had arrived. Noin was already dressed for the ceremony even though it was still five hours away. As she passed one of the lounges something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. She stopped, quietly taking a few steps back. It was him! Zechs Marquise was sitting all alone, just staring out of a window. There was no mistaking the long blonde hair, but wait! He wasn't wearing his trademark mask! Noin held her breath, and reached out to steady herself against the door. All through their years at the academy she had been completely in love with him, though she'd never been able to talk to him about anything other than school and training-related subjects. Next to him she'd always felt so plain and unremarkable, and she often wondered if he'd ever noticed her at all. Only once had she ever worked up the courage to speak to him, at a party last year, but she had never gotten her chance. Lucrezia felt as though she were intruding on his time here, but for some reason her legs wouldn't move as she watched him there. To her great surprise he turned around and looked right at her, and she remained frozen in shock and embarrassment, her eyes fixed on the face she was seeing for the first time.  
  
  
I have stood here before in the pouring rain  
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain  
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign  
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain  
  
'Noin,' he thought, feeling anger rise in him for a split second, but the rage was not directed at her, but at himself for being taken by surprise. They'd spent how many years together, and out of everyone that he'd met here, she was the sole person that he felt as though he might possibly let himself trust. He didn't know her well; he had never been able to let her get close to him. Had his past been different, perhaps they could have been friends, or even more, but he was a slave to his defensive nature. Somehow he consistently managed to build a wall, though secretly he had always wished that she would find a way to break through it.   
  
There's a little black spot on the sun today   
(That's my soul up there)  
It's the same old thing as yesterday   
(That's my soul up there)  
There's a black hat caught in a high tree top   
(That's my soul up there)  
There's a flag pole rag and the wind won't stop   
(That's my soul up there)  
  
Lucrezia couldn't think of anything to say, she was completely lost in studying the features of his face, those cold blue eyes piercing her from across the room. There was nothing she could do to hide the expression of shock that she wore as he continued to regard her so calmly. He made a sudden movement, and with one graceful motion he scooped up the mask that had been sitting beside his chair and started across the room. He walked to where she stood. She trembled. In five years at the academy she had never been so close to him. His eyes were unreadable, and for all Noin knew Zechs could kill her right there, yet she stood her ground.  
  
"Go ahead and have a nice long look," he growled, staring down at her. She couldn't take her eyes off him, and he knew it. Should he tell her - confide in someone after all these years? Would she even want to listen? Zechs wondered who he was to assume that she would even care to know about his past. He pushed past her, beginning to place the mask back over his face when he felt her grab onto his jacket sleeve. He spun around forcefully, but somehow Noin managed to catch the mask.   
  
"Don't, please," she said softly. Zechs looked at her, not knowing what to do or say.  
  
I have stood here before in the pouring rain  
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain  
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign  
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain  
  
"Noin, I..." he stopped in mid-sentence as she reached up and gently touched his face. No one had ever looked at him the way she was right now, and he was unnerved by the sudden rush of emotion that he felt flood through him. Ever since the day when he lost his soul, as he referred to the day the Alliance had decimated the Sank Kingdom and destroyed all that he'd ever known, Zechs had gone out of his way to be cold. He didn't want to feel anything anymore, because everything that he had once felt - every joy, every happiness - had been replaced by sorrow and pain. His soul was trapped and tortured somewhere out of his reach. He had become something other than human; he had become Zechs Marquise.   
  
There's a fossil that's trapped in a high cliff wall  
(That's my soul up there)  
There's a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall  
(That's my soul up there)  
There's a blue whale beached by a springtide's ebb  
(That's my soul up there)  
There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web  
(That's my soul up there)  
  
"Zechs, it's alright," she managed to say, though her voice was shaking. Lucrezia couldn't stop looking at his face. Her hand still rested on the mask as he brought it down to his side. "Whatever you have to say, I'll listen," she said reassuringly, "and it will stay between us."   
  
He had been unprepared for that, and Zechs hated being unprepared for anything. He could feel his stony façade begin to crack, all the years of hiding gave way to the feelings he held beneath the mask, and he let himself collapse into her waiting arms. Could she possibly understand what he was about to tell her?  
  
I have stood here before in the pouring rain  
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain  
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign  
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain  
  
They returned to the lounge and she helped him back into the chair. Sitting down by his side, Noin turned to face him, and he, regaining his composure, began to speak. Zechs was perfectly stoic, and told the story as if it were something that hadn't even involved him directly. Noin listened, trying to be just as stoic, but she had to fight incredibly hard against the tears that were springing up in her eyes. What he had been through! She couldn't believe it. He didn't remember much of his mother. She had died a few years before the Alliance attacked. He spoke about his father, a kind peace-loving king who had been executed in cold blood as Zechs had watched. And he had a sister, four years younger. Fortunately she'd been sent into hiding before the conflict. Zechs had barely escaped, having managed to elude the soldiers in all the confusion. Lucrezia could see that he was haunted by these memories still.  
  
There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out  
(That's my soul up there)  
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt  
(That's my soul up there)  
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed  
(That's my soul up there)  
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread  
(That's my soul up there)  
  
"It's now the Sank Kingdom in name alone," he said slowly, alarmed by the sound of his own voice. "No king will ever rule there again."  
  
"But you are the heir, a Peacecraft?" she said.  
  
Zechs nodded. "Milliardo Peacecraft," he whispered. He hadn't said that name since the day his father died.  
  
King of pain...  
  
Noin hadn't realized that she was holding his hand, and could scarcely believe it when she looked down. Just yesterday she had been watching him from a distance, as she always did, in awe at the mystery, grace and ease that surrounded him. Now she knew things about him that no else knew. For the first time she felt as though she must be something to him.  
  
Zechs stood up very abruptly, and quickly replaced his mask. Only after he had done so did Noin realize that there were footsteps in the hall outside. She looked up at him, and he met her gaze through the mask. Without another word, he left the room.  
  
There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack  
(That's my soul up there)  
There's a black winged gull with a broken back  
(That's my soul up there)  
  
The ceremony, with all the pomp and circumstance, had taken four long hours in the heat of the afternoon sun. Triez Kushranada had personally attended, having made the announcement that he wanted Zechs to serve under him, and that he would be instantly promoted to Lieutenant. The crowd had cheered; his classmates patted him on the back, still Zechs felt no different.  
  
There's a little black spot on the sun today  
It's the same old thing as yesterday  
  
Lucrezia had watched him through the entire ceremony, looking for any sign that what had passed between them had meant anything to him - that she now meant anything to him. Not once did he even glance in her direction. After the ceremony was over, she tried in vain to find him, but it was to no avail. Having searched for an hour she retreated sadly towards the great hall for the graduation banquet. She rounded the corner of the first corridor when she was grabbed from behind. Noin felt herself whirl around and she was suddenly staring right into a familiar silver mask. "Zechs," she said in shock, her body still tense from the surprise.  
  
"Noin," he responded, and paused for a moment. Finally, he continued. "I'm leaving immediately, orders from Triez." Lucrezia looked outwardly disappointed, but she comforted herself by the fact that he had at least come to say good-bye.  
  
"Well..." she started, but her voice trailed off as the distance between them closed. His arms encircled her as their lips met in a strong, deep kiss.  
  
I have stood here before in the pouring rain  
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain  
I guess I always thought you could end this reign  
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain...  
  
He let go of her gently, and backed away without a word. She watched him disappear down the corridor, too stunned to even think of chasing after him.  
  
Zechs knew he could not look back, as he was trying to make sense out of what had just happened. She knew. Now she knew his secret and she knew him. As he walked away, he pushed all of the newly surfaced emotions back down where they belonged. After all, he was Zechs Marquise.  
  
King of pain  
I'll always be king of pain..............  
  
  
OK, I'll admit that it might have been a little OOC, but I hadn't planned on doing a sequel. Hope you liked it anyway. Please let me know what you thought - Love, Stella  
  



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